How to Move On From a Relationship

How to Move On From a Relationship

1-Let's face it: 

Breakups and Rejection from a crush are about as much fun as food poisoning. But there's one thing that never changes about life. It happens to everyone. You are certainly not alone. Even as sad as you are, you will move on and be a stronger person.  

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2-First things first; don't try and let go right away. 

You've been hurt and it's time to heal. Take a couple days to remember, think, wonder, and cry. Crying does help the pain! Confide in a friend and let yourself enjoy indulgences, even if you find you cannot really. Good food, movies, music, friends and art/hobbies are excellent ways to outlet your pain. This step is important, and if you need to re-read it, re-read it. It is your mandatory direction. Because before you start moving on, it's important for the person to reflect on the situation and heal. 

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3-The first couple days are over so what do you do now? 

Delete, delete, delete... all traces of your ex/ex-crush. It's only your first week, so you'll find yourself all mixed in with emotions, which isn't a bad thing. While you're deleting you could be wondering if it's good if you two broke up, you might be very mad, or full of depression, but whatever you feel, you must delete. Time to throw away the photos, put the ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend's gifts in a box, and delete him/her off your social networking sites. There's no need anymore to hold on to something that wasn't meant to work out, so delete everything! That means text messages too! 

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4-Think through everything thoroughly, but not obsessively. 

 Mull it over, as many times as necessary, within reason. Consider all the reasons you two broke up, consider why the crush would never work. Even if it seems there wasn't a good reason, there certainly was one - and probably more than one. Understand that you enjoyed one another for a while, or at least enjoyed the thought of the person for a while, but even though everything seemed okay to you, if the relationship was not what your partner wanted for life, it would have ended eventually, no matter what. In this case, better sooner than later. 

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 5-Write all your feelings down. 

Write in a journal or write poems. Most of all, be absolutely honest and don't edit yourself as you go. One of the best results of writing it all down is that sometimes you will be amazed by a sudden insight that comes to you as you are pouring out your thoughts onto paper. Patterns may become clearer, and as your grieving begins to lessen, you will find it so much easier to "get" valuable life lessons from the whole experience if you've been writing your way through it. No relationship/thinking crush is ever a failure if you manage to learn something about yourself from having gone through it all with your heart open to both joy and pain. Just because it didn't work out doesn't mean it wasn't a necessary part of your journey to becoming who you're meant to be. Allow at least the learning part to enrich your life. 

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6- Become involved. 

Start focusing your life on other things. Start exercising, start painting, make a club. Just because something didn't happen or a relationship is lost, doesn't have to mean you are over or lost. 

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 7-Feel good about yourself. 

Figure out all the things that are good about you and your life. Count them as blessings. Sometimes you just need to love yourself to make yourself feel better. Don't pick yourself apart because you weren't his/her type, or you think the person broke up with you because you think you're not as attractive as the other person they are dating now. Time to exercise, weight train, go to the spa, beautify yourself, because the loser was the one who lost YOU, not the other way around. YOU'RE the prize. 

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8-Find an outlet. Maybe an outlet for you is music, or writing, or your friends. Whatever it may be, focus your life on this for a while. You just may discover a little bit more about yourself than you did before. 

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9-Try something new. 

Try a new style, sport or free time activity. 

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10-Keep your dignity. 

 Many times, it's our own ego that causes the pain; we feel rejected and deceived, embarrassed. We doubt our self worth and adequacy. A breakup, especially one in which your partner has cheated on you, can really undermine your self-confidence and shake your self-esteem to the core. Help rebuild your inner stability by impressing yourself with accomplishment - volunteer, take a class, do things that remind you of your value as a person. 

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11-Meet someone new. 

And who knows? They might be the one you've been needing all along.

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12-Avoid feeling sorry for yourself too long. 

Otherwise your friends will start avoiding you and you'll feel even worse about yourself. You'll notice that your key mood will be depressed and it will be hard to get out of. You can't let this little mishap get you down that badly, because it's bound to happen again in your life, and you have to make sure you will accept it better next time. Instead of saying "My life sucks because....", try saying "My life is great because..." and it will make you realize all the blessings in your life verses the horrible things that have taken place in your life. 

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13-Music. 

Music will help you relate to your problems and will help you get over them. Listening to your iPod/MP3 player for the first few months for many the time is key. Even if it's just calm music. Music soothes the mind, it has been proven.